I’ve been trying to make a piece of content – blog post, video, instagram post, whatever – for weeks now. Every time I write I tell myself no-one will see it. Every time I film something I tell myself I’m just adding to the oversaturated community and not adding anything valuable. Every time I go to take a picture I find something wrong – the lighting, a lack of interesting caption, or just the fact that neither myself nor my belongings look ‘instagram ready’.
Although this is largely a manifestation of poor mental health, I think that there’s a whole bunch of confusing feelings knocking around when it comes to creation that aren’t always completely internal. By putting original content out there, and what’s more, promoting it, you’re having to openly <em>try </em>at something, openly being passionate about a topic, which as someone into things like books and video games is a very vulnerable position to put yourself into. Creating content tells the world that not only are you interested in and passionate about a topic, but that you have the pig-headedness to think that your opinions also have value.
I find myself frequently caught in limbo between two thoughts: the first, that being creative and striving for improvement and exposure is a positive act and that you have something to add to a conversation; the second, that most people are just ordinary and that knowing your limits and what your strengths are prevent you from aiming with your ego.
I don’t know how to figure out if I’m good enough to keep making things. But I think that it is a negative thing to give up on something.